Whether you are having a cocktail party or captioning photos, our cocktail quotes and puns are great to use for invitations or social media posts.
You could also use our cocktail quotes to caption photos for your next girls night out.
1. “Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.” — Steve Martin
2. Sip me baby one more time…
3. Do you drink?”. “Of course, I just said I was a writer.”- Stephen King
4. To me “drink responsibly” means don’t spill it!
5. “Whisky is liquid sunshine.”- George Bernard Shaw
6. Time flies when you are having a cocktail
7. My relationship to whiskey is on the rocks
8. When life throws lemons, catch them and make a cocktail.
9. I’m in need of liquid therapy
10. I always make time for cocktails
11. If you don’t drink, how will your friends know that you love them at 2am?
12. “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” — Benjamin Franklin
13. “Wasted away again in Margaritaville.” —Jimmy Buffett
14. Keep calm and grab a cocktail
15. I have feelings about mixed drinks..
Funny cocktail quotes
16. Life and beer are very similar, chill for best results
17. One drink away from telling everyone what I REALLY think
18. “Trust me you can dance”- Vodka
19. “Vodka is kind of a hobby.” —Betty White
20. Cocktails are always a good idea
21. It’s not drinking alone if you dog is home
22. If you like piña coladas, and getting caught in the rain
23. “Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.” — Ogden Nash
24. “Why do I drink Champagne for breakfast? Doesn’t everyone?” —Noel Coward.
25. “It’s 4:58 on Friday afternoon. Do you know where your margarita is?” ― Amy Neftzger
26. “99% of all problems can be solved by money — and for the other 1% there’s alcohol.” ― Quentin R. Bufogl
27. “I don’t have a drinking problem ‘cept when I can’t get a drink.” ― Tom Waits
28. “There comes a time in every woman’s life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne.” ― Bette Davis
29. “Shaken, not stirred.” —James Bond
Funny cocktail puns
30. “Men are like wine—some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.” —Pope John XXIII
31. “Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.”― W.C. Fields
32. “The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.” —William Butler Yeats
33. “A man may acquire a taste for wine or brandy, and so lose his love for water, but should we not pity him.” —Henry David Thoreau
34. “They say the only people who tell the truth are drunkards and children. Guess which one I am.” —Stephen Colbert
35. “Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.” —Ron Swanson, Parks and Recreation
36. “You say potato, I say vodka.” —Karen Walker, Will & Grace
37. “No amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail.” — David Sedaris
38. “All is fair in love and beer.”- Kurt Paradis
39. “Never lie, steal, cheat or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away.” —Alex Hitch, Hitch
40. “In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I’m sorry, did I say ‘scientists’? I meant Irish people.” —Tina Fey
41. “Wine makes daily living easier, less hurried, with fewer tensions and more tolerance.” —Benjamin Franklin
42. “Hear no evil, speak no evil, and you won’t be invited to cocktail parties.” — Oscar Wilde
43. “Here’s to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life.” — F. Scott Fitzgerald
Funny cocktail quotes
44. “I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.” – Chelsea Handler
45. “Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.” — Frank Sinatra
46. “I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.” – Rodney Dangerfield
47. “I drink to make other people more interesting.” — Ernest Hemingway
48. “A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.”- Steve Fergosi
49. “I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.” — W.C. Fields
50. “The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.” ~ Richard Braunstein
How do you caption a drink?
51. It’s a bubbly kind of night
52. Tequila is cheaper than therapy
53. There is nothing which a glass of cocktail cannot solve
54. It’s beginning to look a lot like cocktails.
55. How Merlot can you go?
56. Never chase anything but drinks and dreams.
57. Vine and dandy.
58. Move over, coffee. Today is a day for cocktails.
59. You had me at Merlot.
60. It’s a cocktail o’clock.
61. Yes way Rosé!
62. Sippin’ and chillin’
63. It’s wine o’clock somewhere
64. Go where the wifi is weak and the rum is strong
65. Cocktail thoughts
66. “Step Aside coffee This is a Job for alcohol”
67. Will you accept this Rosé?
68. Choose happy…hour
69. On cloud wine!
70. We go together like Fridays and happy hour
71. Sip happens
72. Alcohol is the liquid version of photoshop
73. Happy hour vibes
74. A drink a day keeps reality at bay
75. Happy hour? Wine not?
76. Just a sip to help me un-wine.
77. There’s always time for cocktails
78. Sip back and relax
79. Sip, sip, hooray!
80. Save water, drink cocktails
What is a quote for alcohol?
81. “Drink wine. This is life eternal. This is all that youth will give you. It is the season for wine, roses and drunken friends. Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.” — Omar Khayyám
82. “I like to have a martini, Two at the very most. After three I’m under the table, after four I’m under my host.” – Dorothy Parker
More Cocktail Quotes
83. “Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.” -Dave Barry
84. “An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.” – Ernest Hemingway
85. “Laugh whenever you can. Keeps you from killing yourself when things are bad. That and vodka.” ― Jim Butcher
86. “Here’s to alcohol, the cause of — and solution to — all life’s problems.” – Homer Simpson
87. “That’s what I do. I drink and I know things.” —Tyrion Lannister, Game of Thrones
88. “Beer, it’s the best damn drink in the world.” —Jack Nicholson
89. “Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.” —Mark Twain
90. “I work until beer o’clock.” —Stephen King
91. “Happiness is having a rare steak, a bottle of whisky and a dog to eat the rare steak.” —Johnny Carson
92. “It takes only one drink to get me drunk…..the trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.” – George Burns
93. “I exercise self-control and never touch a beverage stronger than gin before breakfast.”—W. C. Fields
94. “Love makes the world go round? Not at all. Whiskey makes it go round twice as fast.” — Compton Mackenzie
95. “The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” – Humphrey Bogart
96. ”I wish to live to 150 years old, but the day I die, I wish it to be with a cigarette in one hand and a glass of whiskey in the other.”—Ava Gardner
97. And I drink to myself, what a wonderful world…
98. Great minds, drink a like
99. I stopped drinking for good. Now I drink for evil.
100. Weekend forecast, 100% chance of beer
Conclusion cocktail quotes & puns
Our cocktail quotes and puns can be used in creative and fun ways. These cocktail quotes are simply fun and they’re not to be taken too seriously!
Check out some fun recipes for your next cocktail party!