100 Cocktail Quotes & Captions

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Whether you are having a cocktail party or captioning photos, our cocktail quotes and puns are great to use for invitations or social media posts.   

 

You could also use our cocktail quotes to caption photos for your next girls night out. 

 

Cocktail quotes

 

1. “Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.” — Steve Martin

2. Sip me baby one more time…

3. Do you drink?”. “Of course, I just said I was a writer.”- Stephen King

4. To me “drink responsibly” means don’t spill it!

5. “Whisky is liquid sunshine.”- George Bernard Shaw

6. Time flies when you are having a cocktail

7. My relationship to whiskey is on the rocks

8. When life throws lemons, catch them and make a cocktail.

9. I’m in need of liquid therapy

10. I always make time for cocktails

11. If you don’t drink, how will your friends know that you love them at 2am?

12. “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” — Benjamin Franklin

13. “Wasted away again in Margaritaville.” —Jimmy Buffett

14. Keep calm and grab a cocktail

15. I have feelings about mixed drinks..

cocktail quotes for Instagram

 

Funny cocktail quotes

16. Life and beer are very similar, chill for best results

17. One drink away from telling everyone what I REALLY think

18. “Trust me you can dance”- Vodka

19. “Vodka is kind of a hobby.” —Betty White

20. Cocktails are always a good idea

21. It’s not drinking alone if you dog is home

22. If you like piña coladas, and getting caught in the rain

23. “Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.” — Ogden Nash

24. “Why do I drink Champagne for breakfast? Doesn’t everyone?” —Noel Coward.

25. “It’s 4:58 on Friday afternoon. Do you know where your margarita is?” ― Amy Neftzger

26. “99% of all problems can be solved by money — and for the other 1% there’s alcohol.” ― Quentin R. Bufogl

27. “I don’t have a drinking problem ‘cept when I can’t get a drink.” ― Tom Waits

28. “There comes a time in every woman’s life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne.” ― Bette Davis

29. “Shaken, not stirred.” —James Bond

 

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Funny cocktail puns

 

30. “Men are like wine—some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.” —Pope John XXIII

 

31. “Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.”― W.C. Fields

 

32. “The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.” —William Butler Yeats

 

33. “A man may acquire a taste for wine or brandy, and so lose his love for water, but should we not pity him.” —Henry David Thoreau

 

34. “They say the only people who tell the truth are drunkards and children. Guess which one I am.” —Stephen Colbert

 

35. “Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.” —Ron Swanson, Parks and Recreation

 

36. “You say potato, I say vodka.” —Karen Walker, Will & Grace

 

37. “No amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail.” — David Sedaris

 

38. “All is fair in love and beer.”- Kurt Paradis

 

39. “Never lie, steal, cheat or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away.” —Alex Hitch, Hitch

 

40. “In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I’m sorry, did I say ‘scientists’? I meant Irish people.” —Tina Fey

 

41. “Wine makes daily living easier, less hurried, with fewer tensions and more tolerance.” —Benjamin Franklin

 

42. “Hear no evil, speak no evil, and you won’t be invited to cocktail parties.” — Oscar Wilde

 

43. “Here’s to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life.” — F. Scott Fitzgerald

funny cocktail quotes for instagram

Funny cocktail quotes

 

44. “I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.” – Chelsea Handler

 

45. “Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.” — Frank Sinatra

 

46. “I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.” – Rodney Dangerfield

 

47. “I drink to make other people more interesting.” — Ernest Hemingway

 

48. “A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.”- Steve Fergosi

 

49. “I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.” — W.C. Fields

 

50. “The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.” ~ Richard Braunstein

 

How do you caption a drink?

 

the best cocktail quotes

Cocktail puns

 

51. It’s a bubbly kind of night

 

52. Tequila is cheaper than therapy

 

53. There is nothing which a glass of cocktail cannot solve

 

54. It’s beginning to look a lot like cocktails.

 

55. How Merlot can you go?

 

56. Never chase anything but drinks and dreams.

 

57. Vine and dandy.

 

58. Move over, coffee. Today is a day for cocktails.

 

59. You had me at Merlot.

 

60. It’s a cocktail o’clock.

 

61. Yes way Rosé!

 

62. Sippin’ and chillin’

 

63. It’s wine o’clock somewhere

 

64. Go where the wifi is weak and the rum is strong

 

65. Cocktail thoughts

 

66. “Step Aside coffee This is a Job for alcohol”

 

67. Will you accept this Rosé?

 

68. Choose happy…hour

 

69. On cloud wine!

 

70. We go together like Fridays and happy hour

 

71. Sip happens

 

72. Alcohol is the liquid version of photoshop

 

73. Happy hour vibes

 

74. A drink a day keeps reality at bay

 

75. Happy hour? Wine not?

 

76. Just a sip to help me un-wine.

 

77. There’s always time for cocktails

 

78. Sip back and relax

 

79. Sip, sip, hooray!

 

80. Save water, drink cocktails

 

What is a quote for alcohol?

 

81. “Drink wine. This is life eternal. This is all that youth will give you. It is the season for wine, roses and drunken friends. Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.” — Omar Khayyám

 

82. “I like to have a martini, Two at the very most. After three I’m under the table, after four I’m under my host.” – Dorothy Parker

 

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More Cocktail Quotes

83. “Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.” -Dave Barry

 

84. “An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.” – Ernest Hemingway

 

85. “Laugh whenever you can. Keeps you from killing yourself when things are bad. That and vodka.” ― Jim Butcher

 

86. “Here’s to alcohol, the cause of — and solution to — all life’s problems.” – Homer Simpson

 

87. “That’s what I do. I drink and I know things.” —Tyrion Lannister, Game of Thrones

 

88. “Beer, it’s the best damn drink in the world.” —Jack Nicholson

 

89. “Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.” —Mark Twain

 

90. “I work until beer o’clock.” —Stephen King

 

91. “Happiness is having a rare steak, a bottle of whisky and a dog to eat the rare steak.” —Johnny Carson

 

92. “It takes only one drink to get me drunk…..the trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.” – George Burns

 

93. “I exercise self-control and never touch a beverage stronger than gin before breakfast.”—W. C. Fields

 

94. “Love makes the world go round? Not at all. Whiskey makes it go round twice as fast.” — Compton Mackenzie

 

95. “The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” – Humphrey Bogart

 

96. ”I wish to live to 150 years old, but the day I die, I wish it to be with a cigarette in one hand and a glass of whiskey in the other.”—Ava Gardner

 

97. And I drink to myself, what a wonderful world…

 

98. Great minds, drink a like

 

99. I stopped drinking for good. Now I drink for evil.

 

100. Weekend forecast, 100% chance of beer

Conclusion cocktail quotes & puns

 

Our cocktail quotes and puns can be used in creative and fun ways. These cocktail quotes are simply fun and they’re not to be taken too seriously!

Check out some fun recipes for your next cocktail party!